Since I am the suck...

I am the suck. Seriously, I haven't posted in three weeks. I am a complete and utter blogging bum. You should not read my pathetic excuse for honesty and ass kicking.

Since I am the suck, I would like to provide you with some funny things that I've learned from my students:
(1) Do not eat out your pudding cup. This will give you a pudding goatee.
(2) If you threaten to vomit or you cry, most teachers will let you postpone your quiz. (Since I am on to this scam, I just give them a trash can or kleenex accordingly.)
(3) The shadow on the dude with just one sock in Liberty Leading the People is the guy's junk. You ought not obsess over it.
(4) Glee is inappropriate viewing for sixth graders, but eighth graders watch Tosh.O and read Stephen King.
(5) You! should! use! an! exclamation! mark! whenever! you! feel! so! moved! It! is! fun! to! feel! like! you! are! being! shouted! at!!!
(6) If you give sixth graders a potted flower as a class pet, they will take very good care of it since it clearly has a personality.
(7) "50 Nifty United States" continues to rock the hizzy.